Topic: Joke of the day (Read 806797 times)

TJK · « **Reply #1175 on:** July 29, 2009, 02:43:52 »

Quote from: capn_cal on July 29, 2009, 02:41:19

where in the world did you get that tore? that was really funny

from a secret place, kids say so muts fun

watt about this then

A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.

"Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered.

"Yeah," said the blonde attendant. "So?"

"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"

"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"

"Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"

"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"

"Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!"

The blonde attendant rolled his eyes. "Good grief, boss! I've been
working here for six years. Of course I know what 'UFO' means
'Unleaded Fuel Only.'"

capn_cal · « **Reply #1176 on:** July 29, 2009, 03:37:43 »

yes very good! and do you get the jokes from google?

TJK · « **Reply #1177 on:** July 29, 2009, 05:54:32 »

Quote from: capn_cal on July 29, 2009, 03:37:43

yes very good! and do you get the jokes from google?

nope not google

CaptainMike1 · « **Reply #1178 on:** July 29, 2009, 10:19:17 »

Quote from: Stuart2007 on July 29, 2009, 01:44:17

A man was seeing this really nice woman, Lorraine. He gets a new secretary called Clearly. He takes a shine to Clearly and she rather likes him. Things progress...

But, being a decent bloke, he can't cheat on Lorraine with Clearly. So he thinks up several ways to tell her "it's over"... So, one day over lunch at a pub they go for a walk by a nearby river, when Lorraine falls in; The man tries to save her but then realises:

"I can see clearly now lorraine has gone"... (for those who don't get it, just think of the song)

Good thing capn_cal didn't look that far up the thread Stuart!!

Wave Music · « **Reply #1179 on:** July 29, 2009, 10:22:58 »

Quote from: CaptainMike1 on July 29, 2009, 10:19:17

Good thing capn_cal didn't look that far up the thread Stuart!!

I hope capn_cal isn't offended by us, otherwise we'll have another "Shipfan55" with record breaking number of farewell topics.

CaptainMike1 · « **Reply #1180 on:** July 29, 2009, 10:24:02 »

No way, he likes a good joke!

capn_cal · « **Reply #1181 on:** July 29, 2009, 13:35:52 »

Quote from: CaptainMike1 on July 29, 2009, 10:19:17

Good thing capn_cal didn't look that far up the thread Stuart!!

what thread?

Quote from: Wave Music on July 29, 2009, 10:22:58

I hope capn_cal isn't offended by us, otherwise we'll have another "Shipfan55" with record breaking number of farewell topics.

no i ain't offended, i'm laughing to myself because these comments. i never heard of "Shipfan55"

Quote from: CaptainMike1 on July 29, 2009, 10:24:02

No way, he likes a good joke!

if your talking to me, yes i do

Cat320DL · « **Reply #1182 on:** July 29, 2009, 16:42:54 »

CaptainMike1 · « **Reply #1183 on:** July 29, 2009, 17:42:28 »

Irishmen in an Aussie bar

A man walked into a Melbourne bar and ordered a pint of the dark liquid.

'Excuse me,' said the only other drinker. 'Is that an Irish accent I detect?'

'It is, sir. Dublin to be exact.'

'Bless my soul,' said the first. 'I'm a Dublin man meself. Ballymun to be precise.'

'Bedad, aren't I from Ballymun meself - Carberry Street in actual fact,' remarked the second.

'Carberry Street is where I was born and raised meself, and St Joseph's was me parish church, Father Dunne the parish priest.'

'Didn't I go to nine o'clock mass every Sunday at St Joseph's. What an amazingly small world. Did you go to St Joseph's School?'

'I did. I was in Miss Slattery's class.'

'God in heaven. So was I.'

Just then the phone rang and the Aussie barman said, 'Not too busy at the moment. In fact there's just the Murphy twins here.'

Stuart2007 · « **Reply #1184 on:** July 29, 2009, 23:18:24 »

Quote from: CaptainMike1 on July 29, 2009, 10:19:17

Good thing capn_cal didn't look that far up the thread Stuart!!

To be honest, it was such a bad 'joke' that I wouldn't have been offended if he didn't get it.

Quote from: capn_cal on July 29, 2009, 13:35:52

what thread? no i ain't offended, i'm laughing to myself because these comments. i never heard of "Shipfan55" if your talking to me, yes i do

[sarcasm]Oh dear. You poor soul[/sarcasm]

Wave Music · « **Reply #1185 on:** July 29, 2009, 23:28:09 »

Quote from: capn_cal on July 29, 2009, 13:35:52

i never heard of "Shipfan55"

OMG!

Shipfan55 was a very unique emo. It would be a shame to forget about such remarkable person!

Quick! Look here: http://www.shipsim.com/ShipSimForum/index.php?action=profile;u=10950;sa=showPosts

CaptainMike1 · « **Reply #1186 on:** July 30, 2009, 13:12:31 »

How many ducks in this bag?

'Anyone who can guess how many ducks I have in this sack can have both of them,' said Murphy.

'Three,' said capn_cal

'That's near enough,' said Murphy.

Minime · « **Reply #1187 on:** July 30, 2009, 14:15:32 »

Cat320DL · « **Reply #1188 on:** July 30, 2009, 17:48:41 »

lol

russ2112 · « **Reply #1189 on:** July 30, 2009, 18:40:34 »

hi ship fairing critters

CaptainMike1 · « **Reply #1190 on:** July 30, 2009, 23:13:02 »

I'm learning Vietnamese

Draining his glass, capn_cal said, 'I must be off. I'm taking night school classes in Vietnamese.'

'Why so?' asked the bartender.

'Well, we've just adopted a Vietnamese baby and I want to know what it says when it grows up,' replied capn_cal

Minime · « **Reply #1191 on:** July 31, 2009, 00:57:07 »

as funny as it is, don't you think you are being a little mean against capn_cal?

Cat320DL · « **Reply #1192 on:** July 31, 2009, 00:58:42 »

capn_cal · « **Reply #1193 on:** July 31, 2009, 01:08:10 »

Quote from: Minime on July 31, 2009, 00:57:07

as funny as it is, don't you think you are being a little mean against capn_cal?

i really don't care if mike does or not, either way it's funny

Minime · « **Reply #1194 on:** July 31, 2009, 01:14:03 »

ah good to know, now we'll probably end up with hundreds of capn_cal jokes

capn_cal · « **Reply #1195 on:** July 31, 2009, 01:16:44 »

yes that would be funny, minime

firestar12 · « **Reply #1196 on:** July 31, 2009, 02:22:05 »

You are going to be famous, CC! What do you think of that? I take it Princess Anne will be proud!

IRI5HJ4CK · « **Reply #1197 on:** July 31, 2009, 09:22:29 »

Gotta' say...I wet myself laughing with this one:

'What was all the crashing and banging?' asked Mulligan.

'The train ran over a cow,' said the ticket collector.

'Was it on the line?' said Mulligan.

'No, we had to chase it up the embankment but we got it eventually,' said the railman.

Jack

Cat320DL · « **Reply #1198 on:** July 31, 2009, 14:57:49 »

jazzy01 · « **Reply #1199 on:** August 04, 2009, 20:39:40 »

Paddy and murphy park their car and realise they have locked the keys inside.

Paddy says " we could get a hanger and try to unlock it or prize it open"

Murphy replies " well whatever we do we better do it quick because its starting to rain and the roofs still down"

Author Topic: Joke of the day (Read 806797 times)

TJK

TJK

firestar12