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Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 804512 times)

TerryRussell

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #575 on: February 21, 2009, 16:41:04 »

I went to buy some camouflage uniforms the other day but I couldn’t find any.
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firestar12

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #576 on: February 21, 2009, 16:45:31 »

I went to buy some camouflage uniforms the other day but I couldn’t find any.
Was it by any chance a shop located in the woods?! ;D
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Aad The Pirate

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  • Posts: 2431
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #577 on: February 21, 2009, 17:16:23 »

So John met Harry after a long time, no see. And Harry was wearing the most elegant shoes John ever saw in his life.
"What kind of shoes are You wearing, old chap?" John asked. "Well, that are crocodile shoes". Harry replied.
So, John took the first plane direction dark Africa 'cause he fancy'd that kind of shoes very much.
Three days later Harry recieved a very disturbing telegram from Africa, telling him that his friend John was hospitalized after having a struggle with a crocodile. Well, being his friend, Harry went to Africa a.s.a.p. to visit John. And their he was lying in that white bed between white sheets completely wrapped in white bandages. And all that in dark Africa, could You imagine that?
"What happened to You, chap?" Harry asked. "Well", John could only mumble a bit, "I arrived here the other day and went straight off to that lake where some croc's where spotted. And there it was. A very big one. I thought that would be exact the one I neede. I took a shot, But I missed. A second shot missed also, and then the rifle jammed. So, I was'nt gone to Africa to return empty handed, I jumped into the pool with only my hunting knife. The first thing the croc' did was to sweep the knife right out of my hand with his massive tail. So, I took the croc' in a wrestling hold, and after hours of struggling I finally was able to pull it ashore. And what do You think? The croc' wasn't wearing any shoes at all.
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Ballast

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  • Posts: 3490
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #578 on: February 21, 2009, 17:21:03 »

Nice one, Aad  ;D ;D ;D
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Minime

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  • Posts: 2557
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #579 on: February 22, 2009, 01:31:59 »

lol, that guy should look at the feets before trying to take the shoes
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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #580 on: February 22, 2009, 15:29:10 »

That one is not a joke of the day, but more a thought for the day.
Or isn't it a joke after all?
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TerryRussell

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #581 on: February 22, 2009, 17:57:04 »

  ;D Funny, indeed!
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CaptainMike1

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  • Posts: 3517
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #582 on: February 22, 2009, 18:35:54 »

TEACHER: What's the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !




From my collection of jokes for under 7 years old, I have over 4000 of them!!!

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Aad The Pirate

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  • Posts: 2431
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #583 on: February 22, 2009, 18:47:00 »

About English language. Why is the word for something you would to say in a short way so long. I'm reffering to abbreviation  ;D
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Person264

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  • Posts: 789
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #584 on: February 22, 2009, 18:54:22 »

And why is dyslexia so hard to spell?
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TerryRussell

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #585 on: February 22, 2009, 20:30:55 »

Lysdexia rules, KO?
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Nathanael

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  • Posts: 193
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #586 on: February 22, 2009, 21:02:46 »

Hi there guys,

I apologise for the rude word that I have just said. I heard it on a program on tv, and personally i found it funny. Sometimes I realise I have a different sense of humor than other people.

Once again, sorry.

Cheers
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IRI5HJ4CK

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  • Posts: 4256
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #587 on: February 23, 2009, 18:01:19 »

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities' brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman's or a Scotsman's brain could be bought for £500 but an Englishman's brain cost £10,000. That proves,' said The Englishman, 'that Englishmen are much cleverer than Irishmen or Scotsmen.'
'No it doesn't,' said The Irishman, 'it just means that an Englishman's brain has never been used.'

Jack :lol:
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Kind Regards,
Jack.

firestar12

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #588 on: February 23, 2009, 18:07:39 »

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities' brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman's or a Scotsman's brain could be bought for £500 but an Englishman's brain cost £10,000. That proves,' said The Englishman, 'that Englishmen are much cleverer than Irishmen or Scotsmen.'
'No it doesn't,' said The Irishman, 'it just means that an Englishman's brain has never been used.'

Jack :lol:
Nice one Jack. :lol:
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RMSGreatBritain

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  • Posts: 1450
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #589 on: February 23, 2009, 18:08:08 »

lol. good one. :D :D :D :lol: :lol: :lol:
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CaptainMike1

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #590 on: February 23, 2009, 18:09:59 »

What do you call a woman with a sheep on her head ?
Baa-Baa-Ra !
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Aad The Pirate

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  • Posts: 2431
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #591 on: February 23, 2009, 18:22:52 »

Due to the Credit-Crisis I took all my money from the Bank.
I'll sleep much better now.
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CaptainMike1

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #592 on: February 23, 2009, 18:23:55 »

LOL

Here is one for TerryRussell

What do you call a man who wears tissue paper trousers ?
Russell !
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firestar12

  • Guest
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #593 on: February 23, 2009, 18:28:47 »

Due to the Credit-Crisis I took all my money from the Bank.
I'll sleep much better now.
Hehe!! Dont let your wife get a hold of that! :D
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CaptainMike1

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  • Posts: 3517
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #594 on: February 23, 2009, 18:29:32 »

Why did the man with a pony tail go to see his doctor ?
He was a little hoarse !
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CaptainMike1

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #595 on: February 24, 2009, 00:01:11 »

From the Daily Mail, Monday 23 Feb 2009
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IRI5HJ4CK

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  • Posts: 4256
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #596 on: February 24, 2009, 08:41:18 »

Hahaha :lol: I saw that somewhere a few days ago :lol:

Another Joke:

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were captured by cannibals and told that If they could not escape, each of them would be skinned and eaten and their skin turned into a canoe. Each was allowed one weapon to help him escape. The Englishman chose a gun but he soon ran out of bullets and was captured. He was skinned, eaten and his skin turned into a canoe. The Scotsman chose a knife but he was soon overpowered by The cannibals. He was skinned, eaten and his skin turned into a canoe. The Irishman asked for a fork.
'A fork?' they said. 'You won't get very far with that.' The Irishman grabbed The fork, pricked himself all over with it and said, 'now try turning my skin into a canoe.'

Jack :lol:
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Kind Regards,
Jack.

Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #597 on: February 24, 2009, 10:23:43 »

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CaptainMike1

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  • Posts: 3517
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #598 on: February 24, 2009, 12:52:01 »

Ahoy Jack,
Please have a look:
http://www.shipsim.com/ShipSimForum/index.php/topic,10830.msg136802.html#msg136802
Regards
Aad

Thought I had seen it before!!

New one:

Su Wong married Lee Wong ~ The following year the Wong’s have a baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says ~

 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...

Are you ready for this?




Sum Ting Wong


Click on photo

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IRI5HJ4CK

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  • Posts: 4256
Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #599 on: February 24, 2009, 20:21:43 »

Ahoy Jack,
Please have a look:
http://www.shipsim.com/ShipSimForum/index.php/topic,10830.msg136802.html#msg136802
Regards
Aad

Oppps, sorry Aad, only started posting here again, forgot I had posted that before!

Jack.
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Kind Regards,
Jack.
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