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Author Topic: Story  (Read 240489 times)

McGherkin

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Re: Story
« Reply #400 on: February 11, 2010, 20:07:49 »

Le Douvres est acheter a la Francaise!
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jammydodger

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Re: Story
« Reply #401 on: February 11, 2010, 20:20:41 »

To which Stu said "M*e^d%!" and chucked the TV out of the window.
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The Ferry Man

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Re: Story
« Reply #402 on: February 11, 2010, 20:24:25 »

To which Stu said "M*e^d%!" and chucked the TV out of the window.

However it landed on top of Jammydodger, who then...

jammydodger

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Re: Story
« Reply #403 on: February 11, 2010, 20:27:47 »

Exploded in a cloud of red, and left one of his trademark biscuits on the floor, on top of his grey flat cap. Jammydodger was then seen at nearly midnight in...
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The Ferry Man

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Re: Story
« Reply #404 on: February 11, 2010, 20:28:53 »

The Middle of nowhere, just off the M6, in just his...

jammydodger

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Re: Story
« Reply #405 on: February 11, 2010, 20:33:58 »

Flat cap (which mysteriously teleported after the Jammydodger biscuit was eating by a passing MP), red devil pants and black socks!
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Stuart2007

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Re: Story
« Reply #406 on: February 11, 2010, 21:35:21 »

...and a ja of Marmite, which-
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The Ferry Man

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Re: Story
« Reply #407 on: February 11, 2010, 21:36:31 »

exploded, covering jammy dodger in marmite from flatcap to Red Devil Socks...

Stuart2007

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Re: Story
« Reply #408 on: February 11, 2010, 21:40:24 »

In a sulk, JD went to see TFM... Who by now was living in the New French Republic of Douvres.
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jammydodger

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Re: Story
« Reply #409 on: February 11, 2010, 21:43:06 »

@TFMYou mean black socks. The boxers are Red Devil. GET IT RIGHT!  :doh: :evil: ;) :thumbs:

Jammydodger was then knocked down by the swinging arm of a passing crane. A crane? Operating, at 20mph going down the Douvres dockside..  :doh:
The crane was driven by a 2D cartoon character from Germany. He wore a blue shirt which matched his blue tights, and black shoes on his tiny feet. He had hair like a baby, only slightly more. Leaning out of the window, he said to himself "Right into mein trap..." before his head was ripped off by the wall of the tunnel it hit. (tunnel?  :doh:)
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Stuart2007

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Re: Story
« Reply #410 on: February 11, 2010, 21:47:05 »

[I'd like to add a brand new chapter...]

One day, Dover was sold to the Europeans!


[Nah, forget it. Such ridiculous fiction could never happen. TOO unrealistic.]
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McGherkin

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Re: Story
« Reply #411 on: February 11, 2010, 22:19:09 »

One day, Dover was sold to the Europeans!

Don't forget that we are fully paid up members of the EU now...
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Stuart2007

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Re: Story
« Reply #412 on: February 12, 2010, 00:12:34 »

Don't forget that we are fully paid up members of the EU now...

Just like we were in 1066... Britain regained its right to self Governance (apart from a brief period with William of Orange... (Blame the Dutch! (Europeans again!!!))).

It was attempted again from the late 1700s until early 1800s (blame the French- Napoleon!) and it was attempted again in 1939.

GO AWAY EUROPE! Britain is NO LONGER WORTH INVADING... Unless of course you plan on invading for reasons of regime change... In which case, you are all welcome my dear, dear European friends... (Is now a good time to mention that our government has dossiers of mass deception which can be emailed to Europe in forty five seconds

Joking aside (for those with no humour) I AM NOT anti European at all, just anti limp wristed, self doubting, nation hating, apoligistas who run our country and stop us taking an ACTIVE part in our worldwide responsibilities (not including bombing stone age countries).
« Last Edit: February 12, 2010, 00:15:33 by Stuart2007 »
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McGherkin

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Re: Story
« Reply #413 on: February 12, 2010, 08:21:04 »

And seems to hand out free money to people who deserve it least... Namely the people who snapped the badge off the front of my mum's car the other day...  >:(
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Stuart2007

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Re: Story
« Reply #414 on: February 12, 2010, 09:04:32 »

HOW do you know that it was done by an expense-fiddling MP?
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McGherkin

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Re: Story
« Reply #415 on: February 12, 2010, 12:48:00 »

MP/Chav=same thing...
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jammydodger

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Re: Story
« Reply #416 on: February 12, 2010, 18:36:26 »

R.e. Napoleon - He was actually Corsican. He just led the French (just  :angel: ).
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The Ferry Man

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Re: Story
« Reply #417 on: February 12, 2010, 18:37:27 »

Chapter XXI

So All the members of the SS Forum and also Napolean were sailing together in a boat, when...

jammydodger

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Re: Story
« Reply #418 on: February 12, 2010, 18:41:22 »

Napolean said to the others "I am going-a to change-a my name-a! My name-a is-a now-a, 'Napoleon'! How do ya like-a da new-a name-a?" to which the other commented...
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Stuart2007

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Re: Story
« Reply #419 on: February 12, 2010, 18:59:29 »

R.e. Napoleon - He was actually Corsican. He just led the French (just  :angel: ).

Napoleon? Which particular gentleman of that generic name do you mean?

Hitler was Austrian
Blair is Scottish

It is quite common for madmen to rule countries in which they were not born.
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saltydog

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Re: Story
« Reply #420 on: February 12, 2010, 19:04:08 »

Then, suddenly, he awoke from his dream.. it was not a chat...It was a story..
 So he turned to the doorknob to find inspiration..
« Last Edit: February 12, 2010, 19:16:49 by saltydog »
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Stuart2007

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Re: Story
« Reply #421 on: February 12, 2010, 19:29:12 »

And behind the door was the newly promoted goderator, named saltydog.


"No. I am NOT a goderator," cried SD....

"Really?" Asked Lord Marmite. "You sure act like one."
« Last Edit: February 12, 2010, 19:31:22 by Stuart2007 »
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The Ferry Man

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Re: Story
« Reply #422 on: February 12, 2010, 20:07:52 »

So Lord Marmite grabbed hold of the door knob and entered the room, to discover...

Stuart2007

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Re: Story
« Reply #423 on: February 12, 2010, 21:41:39 »

the chairman and managing director of PO ferries cowering behind a jar of Marmite, worrying about what will happen to them and their jobs once their owner realises what an appaling job they do.

"There, there." Lord Marmite said. "You can do what all other failures do- join the British government."


EDIT: Typing.
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jammydodger

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Re: Story
« Reply #424 on: February 12, 2010, 21:46:50 »

Jammydodger then flew into the room through the open window, again, wearing nothing but his Red Devil pants, black socks and grey flat cap.
He burst out laughing, in a similar way to that of Jimmy Car. He sat, laughing louder and louder for around 5 minutes, being stared at by all others in a room with that "weird alien" look on their faces. He then brought himself to complete composure, and, with no emotion at all on his face, turned to the window, and flew back out into the sunny skies of England.
Inquisitive about the mysterious flying biscuit man, Stu went to the window to watch. He notice that...
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