Topic: Joke of the day (Read 839790 times)

dexter7 · « **Reply #2175 on:** November 23, 2011, 18:45:12 »

yay!

[this post doesn't count as a joke]

clanky · « **Reply #2176 on:** November 23, 2011, 21:17:41 »

Quote from: Aad The Pirate on November 23, 2011, 16:34:12

Quote from: Rbsanford on November 23, 2011, 16:03:27
two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks.

four guys are in a bar. first guy ses "ille hav some h2o." second ses "ille have some too" third ses "me as well" fourth guy ses "i want some h2o too." the fourth guy died.

What kind of Joke is that?
Can't find any punchline in it.
In fact, it isn't funny at all.
And isn't a Joke ment to be funny? Something You could laugh about?
To be honest, Rbsanford, most of your entrys in this thread aren't jokes and/or funny.

Learn a little chemistry Aad and you would realise that this is actually quite good, so yeah, chemistry and maybe a sense of humour.

Rbsanford · « **Reply #2177 on:** November 23, 2011, 21:21:26 »

Quote from: Aad The Pirate on November 23, 2011, 16:34:12

What kind of Joke is that?
Can't find any punchline in it.
In fact, it isn't funny at all.
And isn't a Joke ment to be funny? Something You could laugh about?
To be honest, Rbsanford, most of your entrys in this thread aren't jokes and/or funny.

hmm maybie i shoodve posted wat h202 means. h2o2 is a poison, so the fourth guy died.

and my joke entries are hilarious! they wer just a bit offensive (but i refrained from dirty jokes and swearing at least.)

Simos31 · « **Reply #2178 on:** November 23, 2011, 21:42:50 »

Hmm, I think (H2O2), Hydrogen Peroxide is non toxic, a superb antiseptic against anaerobic bacteria and widely used for open wounds. I brush my teeth every once in a month with it and it's fizzy and fun. There's got to be another chemical agent in the original joke.
Anyway, I was never really good at party jokes. The thread is really fun!

VirtualSkipper · « **Reply #2179 on:** November 23, 2011, 21:50:26 »

Quote from: Rbsanford on November 23, 2011, 21:21:26

and my joke entries are hilarious! they wer just a bit offensive (but i refrained from dirty jokes and swearing at least.)

To be honest, this is the reason why I don't like American comedy because what I mostly see is that American comedians almost always swear and put in sexual slangs to try to make it funny, which gets a little boring after and ruins the humor. $:-\$

Rbsanford · « **Reply #2180 on:** November 23, 2011, 22:16:06 »

Quote from: Simos31 on November 23, 2011, 21:42:50

Hmm, I think (H2O2), Hydrogen Peroxide is non toxic, a superb antiseptic against anaerobic bacteria and widely used for open wounds. I brush my teeth every once in a month with it and it's fizzy and fun. There's got to be another chemical agent in the original joke.
Anyway, I was never really good at party jokes. The thread is really fun!

oh i just herd H2O2 is toxic.

VirtualSkipper · « **Reply #2181 on:** November 24, 2011, 21:45:01 »

I just saw this question on Yahoo Questions!

Not sure if I can count it in as a joke.

Quote

My dad is a neo-nazi and he just came from the hospital. How am I supposed to tell him I voted for Obama?

Stuart2007 · « **Reply #2182 on:** November 26, 2011, 01:34:40 »

Quote from: VirtualSkipper on November 23, 2011, 21:50:26

To be honest, this is the reason why I don't like American comedy because what I mostly see is that American comedians almost always swear and put in sexual slangs to try to make it funny, which gets a little boring after and ruins the humor. $:-\$

American humour? Please explain!

saltydog · « **Reply #2183 on:** November 26, 2011, 01:37:48 »

American humour often is accompanied with canned laughter (so you know when to laugh)

Captain Cadet · « **Reply #2184 on:** November 26, 2011, 14:28:09 »

Quote from: saltydog on November 26, 2011, 01:37:48

American humour often is accompanied with canned laughter (so you know when to laugh)

as there so bad

Stuart2007 · « **Reply #2185 on:** November 26, 2011, 17:10:02 »

Quote from: saltydog on November 26, 2011, 01:37:48

American humour often is accompanied with canned laughter (so you know when to laugh)

Ah. I was wondering why they put that on. On a serious point (if Aads blood pressure will allow an o/t post) it is interesting to see how comedians differ when they are playing to an American audience.

The humour is, ahem, lacking in irony- which makes up a lot of British humour (I can't follow comedy in anything other than English and French, maybe a little Polish so forgive my ignorance of Dutch humour). I hate trying to explain to an American what irony actually is.

Captain Cadet · « **Reply #2186 on:** November 26, 2011, 17:47:08 »

as this is american commedy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY6FuADDHKc

Rbsanford · « **Reply #2187 on:** November 26, 2011, 18:43:23 »

its great, isint it?

european comedy is ok, especially the "look around you" series.

danny · « **Reply #2188 on:** November 27, 2011, 15:28:53 »

Did anyone else not get that google chrome joke thing?
On the topic of H2O2, it IS posionous, infact its HIGHLY posionous, it's the basis for bleach and is also used in rocket fuel. So yeh, You might want to stop brushing your teeth with it Simos........

The Ferry Man · « **Reply #2189 on:** November 27, 2011, 16:30:21 »

Its also in Hair Spray

Decomposes into water and oxygen

Simos31 · « **Reply #2190 on:** November 30, 2011, 19:07:41 »

Quote from: danny on November 27, 2011, 15:28:53

Did anyone else not get that google chrome joke thing?
On the topic of H2O2, it IS posionous, infact its HIGHLY posionous, it's the basis for bleach and is also used in rocket fuel. So yeh, You might want to stop brushing your teeth with it Simos........

Danny, at 3% concentration it is a Superb, Unique Antiseptic. At 7% concentration it is available in all hospitals. It's the first thing you wash an open wound with in a hospital after an accident so as to eliminate the possibility of septicemic (bacterialy induced) gangrene after accidents with open wounds. I always have a spray flask of hydrogen peroxide in my car. With it you can save a limb from being amputated if you act in time. Much more instant in action than any antibiotic. Definitely toxic in long exposure and high concentrations since it is very reactive and its reaction creates an environment of aggressive pH. Which inorganic medical chemical agent is not toxic in high doses or high concentration?? Iodine solution? EDTA ? I wonder.

Feel free not to use it as an antiseptic! Your doctor and the drug industry will be happy about it!
shall I conceal that I use it also when I remove the dead cells from my heels after the thick heel-skin dies in autumn? Keeps my skates free from dead skin odor and I skate like a rocket! Most anaerobic bacteria hate it!

Oh, I forgot! It seems to have also a positive presence in wound healing (based on my personal observation), I assume it provides some oxygen to the tissue part of the wound which can't respire through the destroyed blood circulation where capillary vessels are cut. But maybe I'm wrong on that. I had for myself perfect healing on small wounds wetting the cut skin H2O2 3% solution.
I also tried sterilizing the roots of plants with it. I haven't got any convincing results yet on this personal observation other than the fact that it has not caused ANY acute poisoning or intoxication to the plant AT ALL! Feel free not to do that at your favorite plant. No one is going to blame you for not trying!

Rbsanford · « **Reply #2191 on:** November 30, 2011, 19:43:27 »

can we get back to jokes now?

Captain Cadet · « **Reply #2192 on:** November 30, 2011, 21:10:20 »

Quote from: Rbsanford on November 30, 2011, 19:43:27

can we get back to jokes now?

yes
its suppost be a strike day. the day when we dont learn anything!
your not helping the campain

CaptainMike1 · « **Reply #2193 on:** December 01, 2011, 17:53:56 »

Paddy's been arrested for punching his wife, again.

The judge asks, "Tell me, Mr. Molloy, why do you keep beating her?"

Paddy replies, "I think it's my weight advantage, longer reach and superior footwork."

Rbsanford · « **Reply #2194 on:** December 01, 2011, 19:20:35 »

so a guy is speeding and a cop pulls him over. cop ses, "sir, did u know u wer speeding?"

guy: "yeah, i was rushing to the policeman's ball"

cop: "police dont hav balls"

true story.

dexter7 · « **Reply #2195 on:** December 01, 2011, 22:08:13 »

VirtualSkipper · « **Reply #2196 on:** December 01, 2011, 22:33:41 »

Rbsanford, 2 things to you:

1: Make the effort to adjust your spelling, because I can barely make up what you say.
2: Try to find funny jokes.

Quote from: Rbsanford on December 01, 2011, 19:20:35

so a guy is speeding and a cop pulls him over. cop ses, "sir, did u know u wer speeding?"

guy: "yeah, i was rushing to the policeman's ball"

cop: "police dont hav balls"

true story.

This is exactly what I mean with what lesser minded Americans even dare to call 'jokes'.

Rbsanford · « **Reply #2197 on:** December 02, 2011, 01:07:09 »

yo mama so poor, she cant afford to pay attention.

no matter wat u guys say, imma still tyipe like this and post funny american jokes.

dexter7 · « **Reply #2198 on:** December 02, 2011, 12:18:25 »

You're starting to act like WM... $:-\$

CaptainMike1 · « **Reply #2199 on:** December 02, 2011, 14:41:47 »

Quote from: dexter7 on December 02, 2011, 12:18:25

You're starting to act like WM... $:-\$

Well said!! RSanford needs to meet with Mad Fred!

Author Topic: Joke of the day (Read 839790 times)