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Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 804548 times)

Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #550 on: February 12, 2009, 23:47:46 »

Traffic Violation or not?
« Last Edit: March 03, 2009, 23:57:31 by Aad The Pirate »
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firestar12

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #551 on: February 13, 2009, 00:59:41 »

Traffic Violation or not?
Both. Nice one Aad.
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Minime

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #552 on: February 13, 2009, 03:50:46 »

yeah lol :D
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thanks to Tore/TJK for this awesome sig

Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #553 on: February 13, 2009, 18:40:29 »

Some sign's then?
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IRI5HJ4CK

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #554 on: February 15, 2009, 17:58:33 »

I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my Mother-in-law up.
 As I stood there and watched, her neighbour, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?"
I replied, "No. Six of them ought to be enough".

Jack :lol:
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Kind Regards,
Jack.

Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #555 on: February 15, 2009, 18:30:51 »

There was a couple celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. Finally, after the last guests left the party, that happely married couple get to the bedroom. He went straight to the bathroom to brush hes teeth. She switched on the lights and then screamed out in fear.
Hubby rushed out of the bathroom only to see that there was a gorgeous young woman sitting on their bed. "Who are You?", he asked, after comforting his wife.
That gorgeous thing answered: "Well, don't be afraid, I'm a good fairy. And because You two good people where so faithful to each other the last 25 years, I'll grant you each one wish. But be carefull what You wish fore! Once wished, I have to forfill it and can't undo it. After all, I'm not a computerprogram." ;)
The woman, not beeing scared any more got the first chance:
"I wish we had enough money to spend a wonderfull second honeymoon on a tropical Island" se said. :-* One sweep of the Fairy's wand later, there was a briefcase filled with a large amount of money on the couples bed, and, beside of that, a couple of 1rst class airline tickets to Hawai. :)
The husband had to think just a little, and then he said to his wife: "Honey, as much as I love You, but that's a once in a lifetime chance. So please, don't be mad at me. My wish is that I had a wife, 30 years younger than me." Before the fairy could sweep her wand, the mans wife said: 'I'll forgive You, honey. :-*" And to the fairy she said: "Go ahead, it's his wish, and it should be forfilled"
One big sweep of the wand, a giggle from the fairy :evil:, and their he sat on his bed, long beard, grey hair and yes, 30 years older as he was prior to his wish.
The moral of this story:
A man can be hard as a rock, but a fairy is a woman too. :angel: 
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Thruster

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #556 on: February 16, 2009, 17:17:45 »

Found out I posted something that was already here. Sorry... :-[ ::)


Thruster

« Last Edit: February 17, 2009, 17:15:18 by Thruster »
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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #557 on: February 16, 2009, 21:19:45 »

Are You a good driver? Yes or No

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFvOFqnZU_E
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Drakko

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #558 on: February 17, 2009, 00:03:39 »

here is my joke: there was a dad and his son, the dad was reading the newspaper and then the son go to talk with his father :
dad.-he said
what?-
when i grow up i want to be like you-the son replies
why?
`cause i want to have a son like me :) ;) :lol: :D
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firestar12

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #559 on: February 17, 2009, 00:13:49 »

HAHA! Serves him right!
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bbydino05

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #560 on: February 17, 2009, 00:56:49 »

lol

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IRI5HJ4CK

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #561 on: February 17, 2009, 10:20:40 »

When you're in your car, a simple rule - be polite to pedestrians (especially to old people):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toNEQ3Dmp-4&NR=1

Hmmmm...I think thats a set up...But if its real, that IS Funny :lol:

Jack.
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Kind Regards,
Jack.

Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #562 on: February 17, 2009, 19:55:23 »

For all You people who are good at mathematics: Try to solve the attached file, but please, don't cheat by using a calculator.
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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #563 on: February 17, 2009, 20:11:48 »

I didn't get it. I though the result would be somehow that number which was imagined...  :P
I'm sure You're pulling my leg. In fact, both of them
ROFLOL
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IRI5HJ4CK

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #564 on: February 17, 2009, 20:27:04 »

Haha good one, you got me on that one :lol: ;D

Jack.
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Kind Regards,
Jack.

Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #565 on: February 18, 2009, 00:13:40 »

John comes home from school with a smile on his face from one ear to the other.
"What are you so happy about?" his father askes.
"Well" replies John, "I must write 500 times : ' I am a stupid Donkey' on a sheet of paper."
"What's so funny about that?"
"Well, Dad, YOU have to sign it."

<edit
typo
end edit>
« Last Edit: February 18, 2009, 01:10:42 by Aad The Pirate »
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Packack

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #566 on: February 18, 2009, 05:21:18 »

Ahoy Ship(sim)mates
Have alook at this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSdxqIBfEAw
The german Coastguard was NOT amused ;D
Regards
Aad

rofl rofl rofl "what are you singing about?
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1: See the tug boat?

2: Big ship, small gap.

Mad_Fred

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #567 on: February 18, 2009, 05:23:43 »

"Zinking"   ->  "Thinking"   ;)
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Packack

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #568 on: February 18, 2009, 05:33:44 »

i would think so, doesn't have anything to do with ship sim. i've got my own little story/joke

An old pirate ship is out and the first mate sees a ship and tell the captain, "enemy ship on the horizon" the captain says "ok, bring me my red shirt" so first mate gets the red shirt and they have the battle and no one dies on that ship. Soon after the first mate asks "captain, why did you want a red shirt" captain says "well if i got shot the crew would not notice and they'd keep fighting" 1st mate says "oh thats very brave sir." Next day the first mate says "20 enemy ships on the horizon" captain says "bring me my brown pants"  :D

I don't get it and the german coast guard im pretty sure it's singing listen closley...
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1: See the tug boat?

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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #569 on: February 18, 2009, 17:27:04 »

When You don't get it the first time, it's not funny enough for You to try to make it more understandable.
Anyhow, about language conflicts.
How about this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBcwcejNrY0
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Ncena1

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #570 on: February 18, 2009, 19:01:35 »

haha love it :D :lol:
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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #571 on: February 18, 2009, 23:14:18 »

This is really hilarious !!
(Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people's.

A grandfather is a man, & a grandmother is a lady!

Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'

They don't say, 'Hurry up.'

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don't have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'

When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted bad.


A 6-Year-old was asked where his Grandma lived. ''Oh,'' he said, ''she lives at the Airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the Airport..''

Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

It's funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
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TerryRussell

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #572 on: February 18, 2009, 23:34:30 »

As a soon-to-be Granddad, I roared with laughter. Especially at the last one!  ;D
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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #573 on: February 20, 2009, 22:31:11 »

So the schoolmistress in the girls class askes: "Tell me, Jane, what is Your favorite Job To Be?"
Jane answered: I like to be or an Airline Stewardess, or a Mannequin."
"But", replied the schoolmistress, "what if You're to ugly to be one or the other?"
"I always can be a schoolmistress then!"
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TerryRussell

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #574 on: February 21, 2009, 16:39:52 »

I've deleted the joke posted by Nathanael and also Firestar's comment that quoted it.

"Suitable for seven year olds" is the rule here. Abbreviating vulgar swear words does not make them any more acceptable.  >:(
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