Topic: Joke of the day (Read 839393 times)

Kapn Jonah · « **Reply #775 on:** April 09, 2009, 20:51:35 »

Awesome Easter joke Aad, you have quite the sense of humor

Happy Easter everyone!

TJK · « **Reply #776 on:** April 10, 2009, 09:51:01 »

I think this video will give you some good time and fun
who can forget him Popeye The Sailor Man
that's my Joke of the day, Not good to tell them.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1089152/popeye_the_sailor_man_poopdeck_pappy/
TJK

CaptainMike1 · « **Reply #777 on:** April 10, 2009, 10:10:10 »

Easter Joke:

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #778 on:** April 10, 2009, 10:57:30 »

ROFL

Kapn Jonah · « **Reply #779 on:** April 10, 2009, 15:08:27 »

AHAHA! Nice one Mike!

Im not very good at making up jokes, im just in this topic to see all your great senses of humor

CaptainMike1 · « **Reply #780 on:** April 10, 2009, 16:15:37 »

Here's a great one, as long as you know the difference between a rabbit and a hare!!

Saving the Easter Bunny

A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A Spambot driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"

The Spambot told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.

Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!

The man was astonished. He said to the Spambot, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?" The Spambot turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

Kapn Jonah · « **Reply #781 on:** April 10, 2009, 16:20:14 »

HAHAHAHAHA Nice!

You have quite the sense of humour ;

IRI5HJ4CK · « **Reply #782 on:** April 10, 2009, 16:40:23 »

An Irishman walks over to a counter.
He says "Can I have some potatoes please"

She says "You must be Irish?"

The Irishman bangs his fist on the counter in fury, "Just because I asked for some potatoes doesnâ€™t always mean I'm going to be Irish! Thatâ€™s so Stereotypical!, If I asked for a Pasta, would you automatically think I was Italian???"

"Well...no...." replied the Spambot

"If I ordered a curry, would you automatically think I were Indian?" Said the Irishman

"Well...No...." replied the Spambot

"SO why on earth do you think I'm Irish then?" Says the Irishman.

"Sir" Comes the reply..."This is an Estate Agents".

Jack

Kapn Jonah · « **Reply #783 on:** April 10, 2009, 19:34:15 »

Nice

Trek · « **Reply #784 on:** April 12, 2009, 06:30:30 »

Quote from: thassos on October 18, 2008, 10:34:40

An old "what do you get" one

What do you get if you cross Atlantic Ocean with Titanic?

Half way.

My favorite... Over sized ego's never pay off and never will.

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #785 on:** April 13, 2009, 21:06:29 »

There was that Sipyard having trouble with a special decksection of the new Superliner they where building. It always ripped on the exact same spot. The one time from port to starboard, the other time vice versa. Everything they tried brought no solution. Making an extra strong weld...No result, welding an extra beam beneath the deck.....No result. The deadline for the launch was coming closer and closer. At last they put an advert in the locol newspaper and offered a big amount of money for the solution.
Then one day that tiny guy came to their office, claiming he had the solution. Drill tiny holes on the line where that deck would break, in fact, perforate it and make the underside waterthight.
Having tried about anything else, they did so, and what do you think: The deck did hold, even under the most extreme conditions.
Everyone was surprised, and, off course, they payed that man. Just before he walked away, one member of the shipyard asked him what gave him that idea about the perforation. Well, he said, you see that small factory there across the river? That's the place where I am responsible for the recycling of FAULTY TOILETPAPER

RMSGreatBritain · « **Reply #786 on:** April 13, 2009, 21:16:27 »

My mate got caught stealing a calender.

he got twelve months...............

Kapn Jonah · « **Reply #787 on:** April 13, 2009, 21:29:15 »

HA!

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #788 on:** April 13, 2009, 21:30:52 »

So, as a result of the financial crisis, that old lady stole half a loaf of bread. Off course, SHE was cought and triald. "How many slices of bread where in that half loaf? " asked the judge. "Well, about twelve." the old Spambot replied. "Then I give you twelve days inprisonment." said the judge. Suddenly an old man stood up, announced himself as the old Spambots husband and said: "Your Honour, she stole a can of sweet peas too."

RMSGreatBritain · « **Reply #789 on:** April 13, 2009, 21:32:14 »

h ha ha ha lol Aad!

capn_cal · « **Reply #790 on:** April 14, 2009, 02:13:03 »

Quote from: CaptainMike1 on April 10, 2009, 10:10:10

Easter Joke:

nice!!!

saltydog · « **Reply #791 on:** April 14, 2009, 17:56:49 »

CaptainMike1 · « **Reply #792 on:** April 14, 2009, 17:59:47 »

IRI5HJ4CK · « **Reply #793 on:** April 14, 2009, 18:20:33 »

Father Ted

Jack.

RMSGreatBritain · « **Reply #794 on:** April 14, 2009, 18:26:53 »

ha ha ha lol! very good.

IRI5HJ4CK · « **Reply #795 on:** April 14, 2009, 18:28:24 »

Paddy, Mick and Seamus entered their local pub's weekly raffle and to their surprise, they each won a prize: Paddy a bottle of whisky, Mick a large turkey and Seamus a toilet brush.

The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. Paddy extolled the pleasures of his smooth Irish whisky, while Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious he had ever tasted.
Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush.
'It wasn't that great,' he said. 'I think I'll go back to using paper.'

Jack

p.s. For those who don't know, Father Ted (Picture Above) is an Irish comedy.

Capt. Matt · « **Reply #796 on:** April 14, 2009, 18:44:32 »

A blonde goes into a doctors office for burns on her ears The doctor asks:
What Happened?
She answered i WAS iRONING AND SOMEONE CALLED.
The Doctor replied: So what does that have to do with the burns on your ears?
She replied: I thought the Iron was the phone so I picked it up and put it to my ear(It Hurt)
The Doctor then says But you have a burn on the other ear too.
She Says: He called back

Capt. Matt · « **Reply #797 on:** April 14, 2009, 18:45:05 »

And no offence to blondes in that bit

IRI5HJ4CK · « **Reply #798 on:** April 14, 2009, 18:47:49 »

Haha Nice one Matt

O'Malley retired from the British Army and got a job as an orderly in Brocton Prison hospital. On his first day he met up with an old school pal from Kilkenny.

'Mick,' said his classmate, 'I want you to keep a severe eye on the feller in bed number three.'

'Why's that?' asked O'Malley.

'Well,' said his chum, 'he's been here a month. Already he's had his tonsils removed, his adenoids removed, and his appendix removed. I'm beginning to suspect he's smuggling himself out bit by bit!'

Jack

Capt. Matt · « **Reply #799 on:** April 14, 2009, 19:02:33 »

;DGood one
This is TRUE
My dad is About to pull away a 100FT Aluminum dinner boat from dock a Jetski(apparently) hit him (jetskiers are obvilious of things) one of the captains in thre marina called on the marine radio that people are in the water MV valiant is sinking when just the jetski was sinking because when he hit the boat the people felloff and when he was climbing on and lifted off the seat(those that arent aware of jetskis the seat is a plug lift the seat you pull the plug) So then all of Jersey City's fire Dept was there coast guard boats everything then the "punchline" The coast guard guy asked my father if he felt the tiny 5 ft long jetski hit the 100 aluminum hulleed dinner boat? My father commented do you think I felt the fly hit my windshield thismorning coming here?
This was not so much a joke as stupidity from a coast guard member Again No Offence Intended but seriousely?

Author Topic: Joke of the day (Read 839393 times)

TJK