Cornwall Monday 14 2008 Citizens of Padstow did this morning wake up to a terrible noise when a tug of type "Bugsier 2" did accidental hit the quay at full speed. According to the captain of the tug he cud not reverse the engine or slow down. The steering system was also not responding and it did go one way.
Captain Freakout: We was going to enter the Padstow harbor this morning just to have a chat with grandma since she's making breakfast for us before we enter the sea to tow larger vessels. But it didn't went that way. I didn't' even get my tea! How do you describe the situation?
Captain Freakout: Our engine is running quite well like it always does. The steering system was responding and the throttle have been my best friend. But today this morning it all went wrong. As the captain of the boat I did even not get a warning before it was to late. I cud already see that this would go terrible wrong. While my crew mates was trying to find out what was wrong it was all to late to do anything. This tug was only going one direction. First we had a bumpy ride over some shallow water and then "baaaang!!" we hit the quay of stone with a loud noise.After this loud and noisy "bang!" some local boats did arrive and tried to assist Captain Freakout and his crew to get the tug of the ground. Since it was very damaged they had to do it carefully. The shallow water was also making a lot of problems.
The first boat that did arrive to assist the tug was Captain Smellybeaver with his Pilot boat
Captain Smellybeaver: I have never in my whole career as a pilot seen anything like this! I did arrive 20 minutes after the accident and the situation was chaotic. I did trow over a rope and tried to pull him of the ground completely aware that he had a lot of damage. I was also told that the steering system and the engine system was not functional and that it was something that had caused this that Captain Freakout and his crew cud not resolve.While the pilot boat was trying to pull the tug of several other tugs was on their way to assist.
Captain Smellybeaver took the command and all did try their best to pull the tug of with it's tea-thirsty captain and the starving crew that was looking forward to a warm coop of tea and some grandma breakfast. But unfortunately they did not get their breakfast or tea this time. The tug was really grounded and whatever they did the tug didn't move one inch. Beside of this they had to be careful themselves to avoid to get grounded in the shallow waters of Padstow.
Captain Smellybeaver: I was actually calling to a priest this morning while I tried to pull the tug of. We where actually praying for tide to come and lift the tug of... But no tide did arrive..So you are saying that God was not on your side?
Captain Smellybeaver: Not at all. There was absolutely no changes in the tide when we was trying to pull the tug of. Some of us even suggested to call a Sherpa to assist us. But since the tide wasn't on our side this time we cud not bring in any larger vessel because of the shallow water. We was simply strucked and was forced to give up... 
The local Police of Padstow is now on board to find out what did cause this accident. Someone already claim that Captain Freakout did take a coop of tea this morning but without no sugar. Instead they claim that he did put something else in the tea.... Local astronomers also report that they have seen some strange activity in the area which they describe as "flying sources" which may have infected the electronics on board the tug before the accident.
This is Ted Bearshoes reporting for Cornwall Times
