I know a virus on the news, Swine Flu! (except nobody cares any more)
How to make a virus.
1. Wait till someone gets a cold.
2. Surround their house with paparazzi, who will take pictures of the person blowing their nose.
3. Give your virus a name. You should use H#N1, where # is a number of your choosing, apart from 5 and 1 (they've been taken already)
4. Secretly fly your cold sufferer to various destinations, and repeat step 2.
5. Give it a slang name. This should have the name of a dirty animal as the first word, and 'flu' as the second. The dirtier the animal, the more people are scared and buy face-masks and therefore the value of your shares in face-mask companies increases.
6. Make ludicrous profits.
7. Buy shares in a pharmeceutical company when the fuss dies down.
8. develop a 'vaccine' (any placebo will work)
9. Make ludicrous profits.