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Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 836443 times)

Kojax

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #800 on: April 15, 2009, 12:34:40 »

Try this cheeseburger-bed!

  (http://www.bilder-hochladen.net/files/ac7x-4-jpg-nb.html) 
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capn_cal

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #801 on: April 15, 2009, 12:37:41 »

hes sure in a pickle ::)
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CaptainMike1

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #802 on: April 15, 2009, 12:53:17 »

Een Belg besluit te gaan solliciteren bij de NS voor een baan als machinist. Onze vriend wordt aangenomen en mag de trein van Eindhoven naar Amsterdam besturen. De trein is nog geen vijf kilometer ver en komt dan tot stilstand. De hoofdconducteur, op de hoogte van de nationaliteit van de machinist, krijgt er de smoor in. - 'EAARRGH!!! Belgen, heb ik dat weer!!' Hij roept de machinist op, maar die reageert niet. - 'Hij zal toch niet dood...' Ten einde raad loopt de hoofdconducteur over de spoorbaan naar de locomotief. Daar ziet hij de Belg, frunnikend aan de wielen. - 'Man, ben je gek? Waar ben je nu weer mee bezig?' - 'Allez mijnheer, hebt ge dan niet gemerkt dat die trein zo schudde en trilde?' - 'Maar dat is toch normaal voor een trein?' - 'Welnee, ge begrijpt het niet! Kijk naar die wielen, ge rijdt op uw velgen, ALLE banden hebt ge kapot gereden!'
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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #803 on: April 15, 2009, 13:38:37 »

Ahoy Mike,
Since when did you transformed into a Dutchman?
Kind Regards
Aad
BTW, the joke is great
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CaptainMike1

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #804 on: April 15, 2009, 17:09:02 »

Ahoy Aad

My wife is Dutch!! Off to see the family around Alkmaar in a couple of weeks!

Mike
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RMSGreatBritain

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #805 on: April 15, 2009, 18:42:30 »

Een Belg besluit te gaan solliciteren bij de NS voor een baan als machinist. Onze vriend wordt aangenomen en mag de trein van Eindhoven naar Amsterdam besturen. De trein is nog geen vijf kilometer ver en komt dan tot stilstand. De hoofdconducteur, op de hoogte van de nationaliteit van de machinist, krijgt er de smoor in. - 'EAARRGH!!! Belgen, heb ik dat weer!!' Hij roept de machinist op, maar die reageert niet. - 'Hij zal toch niet dood...' Ten einde raad loopt de hoofdconducteur over de spoorbaan naar de locomotief. Daar ziet hij de Belg, frunnikend aan de wielen. - 'Man, ben je gek? Waar ben je nu weer mee bezig?' - 'Allez mijnheer, hebt ge dan niet gemerkt dat die trein zo schudde en trilde?' - 'Maar dat is toch normaal voor een trein?' - 'Welnee, ge begrijpt het niet! Kijk naar die wielen, ge rijdt op uw velgen, ALLE banden hebt ge kapot gereden!'

erm, yup ??? something about eindhoven, amsterdam and some kilometers? :lol: im sure its funny all the same ;D
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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #806 on: April 15, 2009, 19:26:15 »

Een Belg besluit te gaan solliciteren bij de NS voor een baan als machinist. Onze vriend wordt aangenomen en mag de trein van Eindhoven naar Amsterdam besturen. De trein is nog geen vijf kilometer ver en komt dan tot stilstand. De hoofdconducteur, op de hoogte van de nationaliteit van de machinist, krijgt er de smoor in. - 'EAARRGH!!! Belgen, heb ik dat weer!!' Hij roept de machinist op, maar die reageert niet. - 'Hij zal toch niet dood...' Ten einde raad loopt de hoofdconducteur over de spoorbaan naar de locomotief. Daar ziet hij de Belg, frunnikend aan de wielen. - 'Man, ben je gek? Waar ben je nu weer mee bezig?' - 'Allez mijnheer, hebt ge dan niet gemerkt dat die trein zo schudde en trilde?' - 'Maar dat is toch normaal voor een trein?' - 'Welnee, ge begrijpt het niet! Kijk naar die wielen, ge rijdt op uw velgen, ALLE banden hebt ge kapot gereden!'
I try to translate this joke:
A Belgian decides to apply for a job as enginedriver at the Dutch Railroads (NS). He is accepted and is allowed to drive the train from Eindhoven to Amsterdam. The train is less than 5 Kilometers on his way when he suddenly grinds to a halt. The conductor, aware of the nationality of the driver, is not amused. "Aarrgghhhhhh, Belgiums, and that on my watch!!." He tries to reach the driver by Intercom, but no reaction. He wouldn't be dead?? At last the conductor walks along the tracks to the engine. Only to find the driver fumbling the wheels.. "Mate, have you lost your marbles? What are you doing?" - The driver: "Well, sir, didn't you fell the train shaking and rumbling?" - The conductor: "Well, don't you think that's normal for a train?" - The driver: "Well, don't you see? The train is rolling on his wheel rims, all tyres are burst!!"
To explain it a bit: In Holland we think about the Belgiums as the British do about the Irish  ;D
 
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IRI5HJ4CK

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #807 on: April 15, 2009, 19:50:23 »

Hahaha :lol: Thats a good one, I can see what you mean about the idea of the English and Irish :lol:

Jack.
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Kind Regards,
Jack.

Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #808 on: April 15, 2009, 19:53:55 »

Some beastial jokes??
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Gloat

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #809 on: April 16, 2009, 00:43:02 »

Here is a lolcat
« Last Edit: April 16, 2009, 00:45:26 by Gloat »
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CaptainMike1

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #810 on: April 16, 2009, 16:35:59 »

Cornish joke:

Visitor: "How do you do?"
Local: " 'ow be ee?"
Visitor: " It is a beautiful day."
Local: "A spoase it be."
Visitor: "Lovely part of the world, this."
Local: "Ayse."
Visitor: "Have you lived here all your life?"
Local: "Not yet."
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capn_cal

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #811 on: April 20, 2009, 12:51:09 »

Now you know that all those endless smilies in comments on videos on Youtube are came from... cats!  ;D


that is very good!
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TerryRussell

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #812 on: April 20, 2009, 20:33:39 »

My cat is roaring with laughter!  ;D  :thumbs:
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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #813 on: April 20, 2009, 22:17:53 »

But the dog is the master  ??? ??? ???
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capn_cal

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #814 on: April 21, 2009, 03:09:38 »

New Dog
is the guy suppose to represent anyone?
« Last Edit: April 21, 2009, 12:37:02 by capn_cal »
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firestar12

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #815 on: April 21, 2009, 17:18:37 »

Some beastial jokes??
Haha...that reminds me of when my dog used to come sleeping in my room with me. I started to close the door and sometimes I hear him bang into the door forgetting it was closed. ;D It's like, I am trying to sleep, then all of a sudden...BANG! lol!
« Last Edit: April 21, 2009, 17:21:31 by Firestar »
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TerryRussell

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #816 on: April 21, 2009, 21:22:13 »

Excellent!  ;D  :thumbs:
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firestar12

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #817 on: April 22, 2009, 02:51:00 »

Tiger Woods just bought a new yacht from the navy...  ;D
Oh my god! That one had me in tears!!!!! ;D :lol:
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IRI5HJ4CK

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #818 on: April 22, 2009, 07:44:42 »

How work in Ireland works:



Jack ;D :lol:
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Kind Regards,
Jack.

TJK

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #819 on: April 22, 2009, 07:50:24 »

LOL A good one Jack :lol: :lol:
BDW it's the same in Norway to  :lol:
Tore
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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #820 on: April 22, 2009, 09:59:01 »

Company staff organisztion schedule in Holland
« Last Edit: April 22, 2009, 11:56:58 by Aad The Pirate »
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firestar12

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #821 on: April 22, 2009, 15:10:36 »

Anyone here ever heard of the wesbite www.meebo.com? Well, if you have, you know they have pollsthat you can take. Here is an actual one I took. I thought it was very funny.
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Aad The Pirate

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #822 on: April 26, 2009, 15:25:11 »

Top Ten Things Only Spambot Understand

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. FAT CLOTHES.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two Spambot never lasts under ten minutes.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY Spambot UNDERSTAND:

1. OTHER Spambot!



« Last Edit: April 26, 2009, 15:31:41 by Aad The Pirate »
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CaptainMike1

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #823 on: April 26, 2009, 16:46:00 »

Ahoy Aad

Have you shown the wife that one?!?

Mike
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TerryRussell

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #824 on: April 26, 2009, 23:46:02 »

Two cannibals were eating a clown.

One turned to other and asked "Does this taste funny to you?"   ;D


I was getting into my car yesterday when a man came up and asked "Can you give me a lift?"

I said "Sure. You look great. The world's your oyster. Go for it!"
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