Topic: Joke of the day (Read 806417 times)

Gloat · « **Reply #525 on:** February 08, 2009, 14:20:08 »

Sorry for double post, I have more!

The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"
The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

I think this one is already in the topic somehwere:
Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland, when one of the blondes read the sign, "Disneyland left".
So they went home...

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #526 on:** February 08, 2009, 14:36:49 »

While we in the blonde section:

Gloat · « **Reply #527 on:** February 08, 2009, 15:11:15 »

This blonde was at a coke machine and and put her change in and mashed a button and out comes a drink. So she puts some more change in and pushed another button and out comes a drink.

She keeps putting change in and pushing buttons and getting drinks. Here comes a man and asks the blonde if she is gonna be through at this machine any time soon and she responds

"I'm not gonna quit until I stop winning."

did you hear...

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

When she heard that 80% of theft happened at home, she moved

She called me to get my telephone number

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #528 on:** February 09, 2009, 00:09:08 »

They really try, but don't always succeed

Have a look, and see for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HauhwBz4d-M

capn_cal · « **Reply #529 on:** February 09, 2009, 03:37:16 »

sorry that this ain't a joke but it's poem i thought of this morning :laugh:

down at the docks its all going swell
and at the few dings of a bell
a ship was getting ready to set sail
if a person tried to steal a ship
they will definitly go to jail
and stealing a vessels ain't so hip.

on a sea trip is the best thing ever
i wish i could stay forever!

but sadly were docking in two days

and that be the first of may
and this whole three month tour
only seem to last an hour!

so i hope you like it

!

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #530 on:** February 09, 2009, 17:12:01 »

Blonde? Who's blonde on this picture?

Ncena1 · « **Reply #531 on:** February 09, 2009, 19:00:22 »

hahaha, know we know why

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #532 on:** February 09, 2009, 20:55:25 »

Big isn't always better.

Minime · « **Reply #533 on:** February 09, 2009, 20:57:26 »

That only shows how the SUV's became the hero of the day, saved that little car's life

Captain Best · « **Reply #534 on:** February 09, 2009, 21:44:44 »

i bet it was a blondie that did put up the camera

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #535 on:** February 09, 2009, 22:05:16 »

Come on, Why didn't you brought the routeplanner with you?

firestar12 · « **Reply #536 on:** February 09, 2009, 22:08:14 »

I hope 'yo mama' jokes are allowed here.

Hows this?: Yo mama is SO dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch. :laugh:

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #537 on:** February 09, 2009, 22:10:07 »

Quote from: Aad The Pirate on February 09, 2009, 00:09:08

They really try, but don't always succeed
Have a look, and see for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HauhwBz4d-M

And in addition to this movie:
See attachment

Mad_Fred · « **Reply #538 on:** February 09, 2009, 22:46:40 »

One for those of you that like cats, I reckon...

And some new species of dangerous animals...

firestar12 · « **Reply #539 on:** February 09, 2009, 22:50:35 »

Quote from: Mad_Fred on February 09, 2009, 22:46:40

One for those of you that like cats, I reckon...

And some new species of dangerous animals...

Awww....they are so...deadly.

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #540 on:** February 09, 2009, 22:56:53 »

This is an endangeroud Animal.
BTW, If somebody wonders what it takes to keep Mad_Fred silent: Her's the answer, right at the end of this clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yvHWyvexZA

Mad_Fred · « **Reply #541 on:** February 09, 2009, 23:17:23 »

Hahaha..

That is my very favorite Muppet sketch right there, Aad!

Seen it a million times, and it's still funny.. Brilliant performance by Miss Moreno too, for sure.

Thanks!

Fred

capn_cal · « **Reply #542 on:** February 11, 2009, 04:16:36 »

Quote from: Aad The Pirate on February 09, 2009, 22:56:53

This is an endangeroud Animal.
BTW, If somebody wonders what it takes to keep Mad_Fred silent: Her's the answer, right at the end of this clip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yvHWyvexZA

yep that is sure mad fred during his free time on his nifty drums

RMS Gigantic · « **Reply #543 on:** February 11, 2009, 04:29:35 »

Those drums are probably retractable on his unicycle.

I'd imagine somewhere next to the coffee maker and the broken money machine, opposite the engines

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #544 on:** February 11, 2009, 18:17:58 »

"Glad to be a man" Flowchart

Aad The Pirate · « **Reply #545 on:** February 11, 2009, 21:09:34 »

I got this one from a Canadian friend:

New Seat Belt Law - Effective February 1, 2009

The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below....... (Click to enlarge/animate)

This is very Important, please pass on to friends and family.

THIS MAY SAVE A LIFE!

Mad_Fred · « **Reply #546 on:** February 11, 2009, 21:14:46 »

Quote from: Aad The Pirate on February 11, 2009, 21:09:34

THIS MAY SAVE A LIFE![/center]

Minime · « **Reply #547 on:** February 11, 2009, 22:47:41 »

lol, that's what I call top security

capn_cal · « **Reply #548 on:** February 11, 2009, 23:30:09 »

Quote from: Minime on February 11, 2009, 22:47:41

lol, that's what I call top security

thats what i'm thinking!

firestar12 · « **Reply #549 on:** February 12, 2009, 21:49:37 »

Quote from: Aad The Pirate on February 11, 2009, 21:09:34

I got this one from a Canadian friend:
New Seat Belt Law - Effective February 1, 2009

The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below....... (Click to enlarge/animate)

This is very Important, please pass on to friends and family.

THIS MAY SAVE A LIFE!

Sounds like something my grandfather would do!

Author Topic: Joke of the day (Read 806417 times)

firestar12

firestar12

firestar12