All your jokes in here!

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

[Nathanael]

Hello everyone!
I have got a couple of jokes.
Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."

Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.

Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

You post yours now!
Cheers Nathanael

[mvsmith]

Someone has been bugging Carl’s phone.

[Traddles]

Here is a practical joke for a party. It needs two people, preferably a male and a Spambot (of any age). What you do is tie them together as in the little picture. first get one person to extend their arms in front of them,then take a bit of string or twine about a metre or just over and tie one end round each wrist. then do the same for the other person, BUT pass the string through INSIDE the other persons loop. They should now be tied together neatly and the joke is to get them to separate WITHOUT unfastening any knots. It can give hours of fun to observers and IT CAN BE DONE!!!! Old salts in particular should be able to work it out. I should point out that you must not tie the strings so tight as to stop circulation, that does not go down too well.

[mvsmith]

Angus,
I might as well work on your #$%^ puzzle. I’m not going anywhere until my #$%^ neighbor casts off!
Merry Christmas!
Marty

[Traddles]

To you and yours also my good friend.

[Shipaddict]

Traddles, some one has been using Microsoft Paint, yes?

Nice joke and Merry Christmas

[dharl]

He he thats a good one Traddles.   We did that to a couple of troublesome cadets crossing the Pacific a few years ago....Kept the rest of us VERY amused , they didnt see the funny side for a while though....