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Author Topic: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?  (Read 3086 times)

TerryRussell

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The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« on: January 23, 2009, 22:31:06 »

My wife has received delivery of a new Skype phone. This one comes with three international numbers that people can use to make local land-line calls that are then routed to her Skype phone.

"Good idea", she thought.

We have been reading the instruction manual and have fallen about with laughter. It is hilariously awful.

Here are some examples:

Viewing Upside:
The Skype is a popular net phone software of the world recently, it has many
funtions and advantages,such as free download, free converse, install easily, use
worldwide,the sound quality is super and excellent and can penetrate the fire wall
deeply, etc. If apply for the services of SkypeOut, SkyIn, the Voice Mail and so on, it
can replace the general traditional telephone, it's the best choice to save the
telephone fee for individual or company. Although you can use the desktop or
notebook computer, matching the general headphones/ microphone to communicate
through the Skype,but match the USB Phone will be even close to the operation of
the general telephone habit.Moreover,the key-press function of the USB PHONE
has already aimed at the optimization of Skype, can operate various of common
Skype functions simplely;the function of the echo muting,can even let you possess
a better general converse quality than the headphone's /microphone's.

Noechoic
Frequently the CCOOMMOODDOOW rreeaacches tthiis prrojjectt ooff USB PHONE tthaatt sccciiennccee
and technology release, is a process to design with meticulous care, strict test,
The function is well-found, the function is excellent, the one who will be the better
with in the of the same kind project, appreciate the USB of the usage our company
here Network telephone project of PHONE.

The Up/Down key:
When open a window with the shortcut key, for example, re-dail, open the chat window,
send the sound mail, then press that key , it will up and down to move in that window .

Elucidation
1:Press numerical key to input the NO.and letter, in order to check to seek the good friend
quickly.
2:Press "YES" key can call the select good friends.
3. Avoid strong bumping and the abrupt temperature varieties violently.
4. Avoid this phone using in the temperature of too high or too low environment, otherwise,
the screen manifestation will become bad or complete expired.
5. Can't use the dilution, gasoline or other impregnant(vaporize easily )to wipe this phone,
pls use the soft cloth which is immerse water or neutral detergents to wipe the phone
(soft cloth must be wringed dry)

 ;D  :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:
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saltydog

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  • Posts: 7828
Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2009, 23:00:47 »

Let me guess..Made in Japan..?   ;D
Reminds me of a passage in a book I once read, about a Japanese assembly instruction for a Japanese motorbike:  "Assembly of bike require great peace of mind"... :D
« Last Edit: January 23, 2009, 23:05:02 by saltydog »
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RMS Gigantic

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  • Posts: 2601
Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2009, 23:05:52 »

I think I recognize that kind of speaking....

MEET THE WRITER OF THAT MANUAL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww)

;D
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TerryRussell

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Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2009, 23:08:51 »

I think she certainly was a team member!
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saltydog

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  • Posts: 7828
Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2009, 23:22:39 »

I somehow doubt she wrote that book, (which was "Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance"... ;D
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TerryRussell

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Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2009, 23:33:50 »

Let me guess..Made in Japan..?   ;D

We're not sure. The label on the box says "Producture of countries that may exceed the many, while being made of methods and objects from elsewhere not".
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Mad_Fred

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  • Posts: 8689
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Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2009, 23:36:58 »

 ;D

Hilarious stuff, Terry..



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TerryRussell

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Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2009, 23:40:39 »

Fred, it is so hilarious that my wife and I are in tears, trying to read it out aloud. We have to stop after a few moments because we've collapsed with laughter on the floor.

Here's some more:

Prefixed:
You'd better overview this manual beforehand in order to pick up the using items quickly.We are very careful and meticulous to write this manual and consider the information mentioned is dependable,howerer,welcome to point out the omission if in case existed in the manual.Meanwhile,we can't control the user's mis-understanding about this manual,so we don't responsible for the accidents during the using period. If the contents of this manaul has the change, forgiving not to inform additionally
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Mad_Fred

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Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2009, 23:45:58 »




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CaptainMike1

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  • Posts: 3517
Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2009, 00:16:24 »

Now I know why I don't use Skype!!
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mvsmith

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Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #10 on: January 24, 2009, 02:07:41 »

Terry, do you think I would get in copyright trouble if I added that prefix to the Mission Editor Tutorial?
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Kona1988

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  • Posts: 252
Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2009, 06:22:12 »

Hahahahaha, I bought a gun once, ordered on the internet, there was a hilarious spelling error on the front of the box, If I remember, ill be sure to post it xD
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RMSGreatBritain

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Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2009, 08:33:47 »

I think I just died laughing!  ;D
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DiamondEagleDB09rms On youtube! Now with New Playlist!
<br />Thanks to TJK for this awesome Sig!

IRI5HJ4CK

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Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2009, 09:32:50 »

AHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHHAHAHA! :D

The Up/Down key:
When open a window with the shortcut key, for example, re-dail, open the chat window,
send the sound mail, then press that key , it will up and down to move in that window .


What an instruction manual hahaha :D

Jack.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2009, 09:41:03 by IRI5HJ4CK »
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Kind Regards,
Jack.

TerryRussell

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Re: The Word's Worst Instruction Manual?
« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2009, 10:35:26 »

Terry, do you think I would get in copyright trouble if I added that prefix to the Mission Editor Tutorial?

Can you imagine the "Cease and Desist" notice they'd send?
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