Hi Canuck, welcome to the forum!
I can understand your dissapointment, but we'll figure this out, no doubt.
Let's determine what version of the game you have, first. You can see the version number, when you go ingame, and check the lower left-hand corner, of the main game menu.
There should be a version number and a build number.
If the game is below v1.3, you need the biggest file, the 1.x to 1.4.2 patch. if you have tried the wrong one, it would indeed tell you the version is wrong.
If the game is V1.3 or above, but not 1.4.2 itself, then the 1.3 to 1.4.2 patch applies. Did you perhaps try this patch instead of the bigger one?
I reckon you don't need a link since you know of them, but anyway you can get them here:
http://www.shipsim.com/downloads/patches.php
They should work for any version, no matter where you got it. (legal versions that is, ofcourse.) But you need the correct one of course.
The tutorial you speak of is unknown to me, perhaps this was referring to the mission editor manual, or the main manual, I'm not sure.
This flowchart might help you with your install, it tells you what to do and in what order:
http://www.shipsim.com/ShipSimForum/index.php?topic=7737.msg111980#msg111980
Futhermore, If you like to have full acces to the forum, and to all the online content of the game, I'd recommend you to register your license key on the forum. That way you also have acces to the technical support forum aswell.
To do this, go to your profile, and scroll down a bit, untill you see the license key registration section, the rest is self explainatory.
I hope this helps, let me know if it still won't go, even if you have the right patch and the right installation order as laid out by the flowchart.
Regards,
Fred
* edit - typo